All right. Our last order of business.
It gives me great pleasure to announce
that for the second time in a row,
our employee of the month is...
Carli Mitchell.
Congratulations, Carli. Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.
Um, it never gets less exciting.
Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh.
Uh, I am at a loss.
I didn't even prepare a speech
because I thought for sure
it was gonna go to produce.
Um...
But...
as long as I'm here,
I may as well say a few words.
Of course,
I would just like to thank Parker Foods
for taking a chance on a kid
from the other side of the tracks.
I remember
the day I got this job,
back when I still thought that "baguettes"
was French for "tiny purse."
It started out as a typical morning in the Mitchell household.
Hey, hey, hey, Scott. Scott, no, no. Don't make him vomit.
I can't afford to feed him breakfast twice.
All right. I'm outta here.
Oh, wait for your sister. You guys can walk to the bus together.
I'm not taking the bus. Well, how you getting to school?
Suzi's picking him up.
Pam, don't tease your brother.
So Suzi's picking you up again.
Suzi, Suzi, Suzi.
You should invite Suzi over for dinner sometime.
Yeah. I'm not bringing her here, Mom.
She lives in a mansion.
Hey,
compared to most of the world, so do we.
We got a toilet inside the house.
We are practically royalty.
Yeah, yeah. The same way a wet washcloth
on the back of the neck's practically air conditioning.
Hey, the power company cannot
turn off a wet washcloth.
Mrs. Mitchell, it's Hank Greziak.
What did you do? Did you cut through his lawn again?
No way. Not since I saw him barbecuing in his boxers.
Good luck with that.
Good morning, Mr. Greziak.
Good for who?
I told you people when you moved in,
keep your crap off my property.
Uh-huh. I know. And I told the kids
to keep their toys and their bikes off your lawn.
I'm talking about your worthless brother.
Get in here. What?
Hey, I forgot my keys, and I didn't want to wake anyone up,
so I just crashed on Greziak's porch.
Oh, man.
Wicker is far more comfortable than you would think.
Hey, hey, it's not wicker, it's rattan.
Do I look like someone's grandmother?
No. No.
Well, our Nana did have a hint of stubble,
and I think that same marine tattoo, so--
I'm warning you-- Okay, listen, Mr. Greziak.
I am so, so, so sorry,
and I can assure you Yeah?
it will never happen again, okay?
You know, you're right, Mrs. Mitchell.
Okay. 'Cause next time I find him
sprawled on my rattan,
he's gonna get a wake-up call from my weed whacker.
Okay.
Good one, Mr. Greziak.
And it's just Carli.
Nick,
the deal was you could live here for free
as long as you help out
and are a good influence on the kids.
I am. I've been like a monk since I moved in.
Yeah. Since when do monks
crash on their neighbor's porch?
I was meditating, all right?
And college kids party.
Kid?
You're 33, and you're going to school
so that if this whole rock star thing doesn't work out,
you've got something to fall back on
that's not some girl's futon.
Foosball table.
Ouch and ew.
And, hey, the rock star dream isn't dead yet.
♪
Yeah, well, neither
is my Dallas Cowboy cheerleader dream,
but I'm getting a job
in case the C-section scar is a deal breaker.
Ouch and ew.
I'll see you in the morning.
It is morning!
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
♪ This is my day ♪
♪ This is my life ♪
♪ This is my one chance to get it right ♪
♪ This is my day ♪
♪ Yeah, this is my day ♪
♪ Working Class 1x12 ♪ Hire Education Original Air Date on April 1, 2011
Hey, excuse me. Do you mind if I grab your--
Uh, chair?
Table? Sugar?
I would love to grab your sugar.
Your table.
Grab away.
Yeah. I'm gonna sit down now.
And just as good from the back. Oh.
Ooh.
Carli Mitchell? Oh. In the flesh.
And you must be Mr. Parker.
George Parker. Please, sit down.
Here I am, sitting.
See how well I take instruction.
So you have a sense of humor.
Yes.
That won't be needed.
Kidding.
Oh. Good one.
So do you have any experience with upscale cuisine?
Oh, sure.
Not so much in terms of being able to afford it,
but I watch Top Chef all the time.
I just love how they cook.
They don't even use microwaves.
And what about education?
In favor of it.
No. I mean,
what is the level of your education?
I have a degree in child development.
Where is your degree from?
Illinois. Where in Illinois?
All over it.
Sorry. I don't understand.
So no degree.
Okay, George.
My child development wasn't in a classroom.
It was, uh, here.
I got pregnant after high school.
Ah.
Actually, it was more like...
"Aghhhhh!"
Yeah. Um...
Well, it has been
very interesting meeting you, Carli,
but we're talking to a lot of people about this position,
and we'll probably make our decision-- Okay. Come on, George. Wait.
Wow. That is really nice material, by the way.
Thank you. Um,
I really need this job.
I took a big gamble moving my family here
with only three months' savings.
I understand, but I need someone who is--
Okay. You know, so my life
went a little off track when I was 18.
Things don't always go the way you expect, right?
I mean, I thought I was gonna be Mrs. John Stamos,
living in Hawaii, but, hey, here I am.
I'm sorry, Carli.
Oh, come on, George.
Your life must've gotten slightly derailed
at some point, didn't it?
Huh?
Ah.
Well,
I thought I was going to get into Princeton,
but they didn't accept me.
I had to go to Duke.
Then you get it.
Teen pregnancy, Ivy League rejection.
It's like we lived the same life.
Look, Duke saw something in you when Princeton didn't.
Well...
I really need you to be my Duke here, George.
Hmm?
Could you start today?
Absolutely.
Great.
Welcome aboard. Thanks.
I will have Hank, our butcher here,
show you your locker and get you started.
Great. Thanks.
Okay. Oh.
Hi, Mr. Greziak.
You know, I thought "the Butcher"
was just your nickname in the neighborhood,
because you make so many cutting remarks.
They call me the Butcher
because of what happened to that yappy dog
that used to live in your house.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I'll have a beignet.
Got it. Uh...
There you go.
That is not a beignet.
Ah. Beignet.
Uh-huh. Um,
uhhhhh...
Ah. Okay.
I was wondering how they could charge $4.00 for a doughnut.
Import it from France.
I'm sorry.
It's my first day,
and you're my first customer.
Hard to believe.
Um, I will just ring you up
right over here.
Okay. Um...
Oh.
You know, I'm just gonna get the manual.
I wouldn't want to accidentally launch a missile or something.
Hope that one lands in the Pacific.
I'm just gonna find somebody to help me, okay?
So, um...
Would you look at that?
Now, that is just inappropriate.
Who raised that kid?
Oh, my God.
I did.
Um, hang on.
Excuse me just one second, please. Um...
Hey, Scott, what are you doing here?
Mom, what are you doing here?
And why are you dressed like that?
This is my new job.
And aren't you supposed to be
in that big building where they teach you stuff?
What's it called again? Oh, yeah. School.
I'm just grabbing some lunch.
Well, that's obvious.
Why else would you be eating that girl's face?
That girl is Suzi.
Well, I think it's time I met this Suzi.
No, Mom. Look, I don't want her to see you like this.
Like what?
Like somebody who is doing her best to support her family?
Exactly.
Your family tree's gonna need
some more branches there, buddy.
Grandpa Ray alone had 15 cousins.
And who did they marry?
Let's just leave that out.
It was legal in that state at the time,
and that's all you need to know.
Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
Mom, congratulations.
Uncle Nick told us you got the job.
So awesome.
Yeah, it is awesomely awesome.
And look. They even gave me these super-cool clothes to wear.
Hey, Nick, could you do me a favor
and make me a big old margarita to celebrate with?
Hold the mix.
Uh-oh.
Uh, you guys wash up for dinner.
I'm going to be right back.
Hey.
Hey!
Come here, you.
What?
Okay. I think it's time we have a little chat
about this attitude of yours.
You know, I got the feeling today
that maybe you were a little embarrassed of me.
What's to be embarrassed about?
You work in a deli, and all my friends are gonna see you.
Whoa, whoa. Scott, let me explain something to you.
It's okay, Mom. You don't have to apologize.
Oh. Oh, I don't?
Oh, whew!
Oh, thank you, Scott.
Sit.
Okay, look, I moved us to a nicer neighborhood
so you kids could go to the kinds of schools that I didn't get to.
Even if that meant we might not have as much as other families.
"As much"?
Mom, we don't have anything.
Oh, I'm sorry, Scott. We don't have anything?
Where did you sleep last night? What are you wearing?
What did you eat for breakfast today? A Hot Pocket.
Scott, that was supposed to be dinner.
Look, I have to pay for everything you have.
And if that's not good enough for you,
maybe I'm not the one you should be ashamed of.
Can I go now? Yeah. It's a free country.
Actually, you know what, Scott?
Actually, it's a very expensive country,
but you're free to go to your room.
And get used to it because you're grounded. For what?
You can figure that out while you're up there
looking at all that stuff my embarrassing jobs paid for.
Hey, when you said "Hold the mix,"
that was code for "just tequila," right?
Did I do the right thing, Nick?
I thought moving here
was gonna be great for everyone,
but it just made everything harder.
Pam can't find a friend,
I have to wear a uniform to work,
and Scott is ashamed of me.
Hey, at least Will's happy.
Will is always happy.
I'm thinking of having him tested.
Maybe we should just move back.
No. Come on, Carli.
Hey, remember what you were always telling the kids?
Never leave a restaurant
without stealing the creamers and bread?
No. That you gotta put yourself out there.
Now, Carli, you can't give up now.
You're my big sister, and you're the smartest person I know.
If it wasn't for you, my head would still be stuck
in the stairway banister back in fourth grade.
And sixth.
What, so you had one bad day?
That's nothing. You have got this.
You know what, Nick?
You're right.
I do got this.
I'm Carli Mitchell.
I have been through way worse stuff than this.
I overcame scoliosis and prominent canine teeth
to become the high school javelin champion of Putnam County.
And you led them to three victories
with only one injured mascot.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, but, Nick, this job.
I've got so much to learn.
I mean, I have to learn the register
and the manual and the price list
and all these meats and cheeses,
and they want me to pronounce everything in French.
Hey, I'm a college boy. I will help you out.
Now, prepare yourself because I'm about to say something
that I have never said before.
"Here's the rent check"?
No, I would never say that.
No. Let's study.
Okay.
Gosh. When did you get so smart?
You know, when your head's stuck in a banister,
you have a lot of time to think. Ah.
One Niçoise salad.
Sounds a lot classier than a can of tuna on lettuce, huh?
Thanks.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Listen, honey, you got it all wrong.
That's not how you do it. Okay.
You know, Mr. Greziak, I'm gonna stop you right there, okay?
You can complain about the bikes on your lawn
or the Frisbees on your roof,
but you don't get to complain about anything that I do here.
'Cause you know what? I stayed up all night
to learn this register and to study this menu,
and when I put my mind to something, I do it right.
So good day, sir.
Good day?
All I wanted to say was
that you gotta put a fiver in your tip jar
to seed it.
Otherwise, the beignet-holes around here
won't pony up.
Well, aren't you the sweet one?
Mom, this is Suzi.
It's great to finally meet you, Mrs. Mitchell.
Mrs. Mitchell is my second ex-husband's second wife.
You can call me Carli.
Hi, Carli. Hi.
Look, I just wanted to come in here
and apologize for the PDA yesterday.
It won't happen again.
I doubt that.
But I appreciate you saying it.
I know Scott is grounded,
but I am having
this birthday party on Saturday night.
Ah. I got it.
Okay. Birthday party.
It would really mean a lot to me if Scott could be there.
Can I, Mom?
I guess it would be okay.
But I'm going to need your parents' phone number
so I can call them and introduce myself first.
Actually, their number's unlisted.
They're lawyers.
Oh. They're lawyers.
Well, I sell sandwiches,
and I'm going to need that number
if I'm gonna let Scott go.
Can I talk to you privately?
She's not gonna back down. You should just give it to her.
I'm sorry. My parents are very important people.
It's not gonna happen.
Then going to the party isn't gonna happen.
What don't you get?
My parents wouldn't be comfortable
giving out their number to just anyone.
She's not just anyone, she's my mom.
You're being ridiculous. You're being a total snob.
Whatever, Scott.
You can take the bus back.
Oh, and BTW,
you taste like a Hot Pocket.
Hey, honey.
Don't, Mom. Okay?
Thank you for standing up for me.
You are a good person.
And BTW, I'm really proud of you, okay?
I'm just gonna go back to school.
Ugh! And he even likes school.
Somebody did an excellent job raising this kid.
Who was that again? Oh, yeah. I did.
Mm-hmm. Oh, and your butt
is just as cute as it was when you were a baby.
Mom!
Like just two ripe little peaches.
And the best part about this job
is at the end of the day,
I get to take home all these fancy sandwiches
that didn't get sold.
But this meat just went off code,
so do not eat anything green
unless it's lettuce.
Dinner...
is unwrapped.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Before we eat,
I want everyone to go around
and tell me one good thing that happened to them today.
Oh, come on.
I read about it in O.
Pam, we're in a new place.
New traditions. You start.
Well, I talked to this boy in my geometry class.
I made a joke about how I was like a 100-degree angle--
obtuse.
And then he said I was acute.
They're both angles.
Oh. Oh.
Well, look at you. Flirting in math class.
Stop it.
Okay, Nick. What about you?
Uh, well, I thought I had class this morning.
Turns out I didn't.
I slept in for another four hours.
I just got up.
Good for you, Nick.
You are an inspiration to underachievers everywhere.
All right, Scott. Any thoughts about today?
I, um,
think it's really great you got that new job, Mom.
Um, I'm proud of you.
I'm sorry. What was that last part.
I'm proud of you, Mom.
And that is my good thing.
My teenage son is proud of me.
And you cannot take it back because there were witnesses.
All right. What about you, baby?
Uncle Nick helped me finish my family tree.
I mean, I just did the gluing.
But it doesn't even look like a tree.
Well, let's see, hon.
Well, uh...
Oh. Here.
See, honey, it doesn't matter how tall a tree is.
It's only as strong as its roots are deep.
You're so smart, Mom.
Uhh! You are never leaving me.
Come here, you. Oh.
Oh, and we've got to wash that hair tonight.
Well, I just want to tell you guys that
I think that moving here is gonna be great for all of us.
And I'm really proud of all of you.
Can we just eat? Yes, we can just eat.
Sit down. All right. Wait. Can someone pass me--
I'm gonna have the turkey one. Turkey?
Yes, it's turkey. What else would it be, Scott?
Did you forget to pay the electric bill again?
I was busy!
And that's how I came to Parker Foods,
and all of you really became my second family.
Why does this always happen to me?
-- sync, corrected by elderman --